Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I Wish You Insight So You Could See For Yourself

"You're now in a game where only time can tell
Survive the droughts, i wish you well...
Survive the droughts' I wish you well'
How sick am I? I wish you HEALTH
I wish you wheels, i wish you wealth
I wish you insight so you could see for yourself
You could see the signs, when the jackets is schemin'
And the cops is comin', you could read they mind
You could see from behind, you could redefine
The game as we know it, one dream at a time
I'm american dreamin' " - Jay - Z American Gangsta

Peace -

I've been listening to a lot of hip hop lately - for the past couple of years. For Most of my life I did R&B, Soul, World... even whale sounds etc. While I still do listen to those things, I feel that in my current state of mind, hip hop (Jay, Jeezy, Tip, Kanye...) is closer to my mental state right now. Because I feel as though I am constantly fighting to get up out of certain things that are holding me back. And while I know that there are those that are close to me - when I come home, I have to deal with these things. Myself. And sometimes a phone call and a couple laughs doesn't help. It doesn't pay my rent and it certainly doesn't put food in my fridge. Sometimes you have to hole up in your world, suffer through certain things in order to come up stronger.

I chose the above verse from American Dreamin because it reminds me of what I'd never been taught and what I'd learned the hard way. What I teach the seeds on a daily basis. When we say survival of the fittist it's not just physical strength it's mental strength, it's street smarts and book smarts. Knowing when to keep your mouth shut and when to walk away. In general I am a person who keeps to myself and in the past tried to change that... but, I find that I am happy with who I am originally. That's what brings me peace. When I DID try to change who I was there was an unhappiness and constant disappointment in others that I could only blame myself for and found myself acting (at times) other then who I was.

I am not saying all things can be resolved by your lonesome as we all need someone sometimes, but if you never fall, how will you ever learn how to pick yourself up?

These blogs usually have some thought inspiring question at the end but, I have none this time. Just a written scribe. And perhaps, if you have opinions and other revelations, you will gift us with an add on.


Queen Civilized


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