Monday, October 13, 2008

Marriage: I do or I don't???

Marriage:

1.the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.
2. the state, condition, or relationship of being married; wedlock: a happy marriage.
3. the legal or religious ceremony that formalizes the decision of a man and woman to live as husband and wife, including the accompanying social festivities: to officiate at a marriage.
4. a relationship in which two people have pledged themselves to each other in the manner of a husband and wife, without legal sanction: trial marriage;
5. any close or intimate association or union: the marriage of words and music in a hit song.
6. a formal agreement between two companies or enterprises to combine operations, resources, etc., for mutual benefit; merger.

Peace -

I went to a wedding this Past weekend. It was beautiful and sweet and really nice to see the two people so happy and in love. And it got me to thinking... do I want this? The dress... the reception... the BILL at the end of it all??? While I am sure that my parents would love that for me... perhaps in my jaded view of things, I never thought it would happen for me and thus refined my thought of what MY marriage would be.

Do we go by the above definition of legalities or of the pledge between two people? I myself have learned never to just take someone's word for it. We must SHOW AND PROVE our commitment. Just because someone signs their honorable name to legal document and gets you a 3 carat ring does NOT mean that they will keep their word nor that it will last. It means that it will be THAT much harder to get rid of that muh-(bleep)...oh... woops. LOL. (Thanks OT Sensors).

Mind you the ceremony part is nice and the gathering of friends and family however - we could do that anytime with OUT the legalities correct? OR is the lack of security for individuals whom are NOT your spouse so great... that we are forced into this notion of what MUST be done in order to protect our families?

There is also the common-law spouse in some states...

common-law marriage
–noun
a marriage without a civil or ecclesiastical ceremony, generally resulting from an agreement to marry followed by the couple's living together as husband and wife.


If you reside with the individual for several years or more then you are considered to be husband and wife.

But what if your desire is not to reside with each other but just be together for yeaars? Are we any less commited? Those nights for XY and Z years that I wiped your nose and used my trusty tussin remedy doesn't count because I didn't come home to you everynight? Because I can only deal with you for 4 nights out of the week - before I want to be somewhere where I don't fall in the toilet in the middle of the night because you forgot to put the seat down... AGAIN... - that makes our years of commitment... less important then the married couple? Emphatically NO!!!

Let me know what you think!!! I thank you and appreciate your responses.

Peace

Q. Civilized Zag

12 comments:

shakim said...

Peace 17...
Today's Math is Knowledge-Understanding borning the greatest culture known which is I Self Law Am Master..........

People have this big misconception of marriage. People must go to the root to undertsand, to innerstand, then overstand that marriage is a bond (life) and one must be bonded in the root of truth, love, peace and happiness within self , then join union with that significant other (opposite sex) to build to be born (complete) life. Yes the wedding and ceremony is all good, but we have to distinguish the difference between a marriage license and a marriage certificate. A marriage license is when a third party (the state) is involved in your union which you have to pay. Your significant other half should not be for sale. Man and woman are a match made in heaven by nature and not by money (fiat) nor some magistrate (judge). People can get a marriage certificate which holds the same weight as a marriage license, but the difference is that there is no third party (state) involved. They two write it out according to their
standards. That is why the Father said do not get involved with the government when it comes to marriage. There should never be a third party in a union of Man & Woman"s bond (life) to play the referee. A marriage (bond) is much more than what most assume (lack of understanding) it is. Wake Up to the games and know the Law... The law of the land and the Law of the U-N-I (bond)-VERSE.

PEACE.... 7 SHAKIM

Amina Earth said...

Peace to my Universal Family.
My name is Queen Amina Earth and I would like to share my wisdom on this topic:
My Understanding to this topic is that, marriage isnt a big issue with me. A piece of paper doesnt guarantee anything, by signing that paper, I feel like someone would be trying to put rules on my relationship. You have to file taxes together, his debt becomes your debts and vice versa. In a marriage your basically committed to that person. Thats really the overall picture. I've been committed for the past 4 and a half years, now should I go and get married?! Now Cipher. Are we any less than the couples that are married?! Now Cipher. Do we have less happiness because we choose not to?! Now Cipher. Do they have more happiness because there married?! Now Cipher. People who choose not to marry are not any less than the ones who choose to marry, and there not any better. Getting married is just an extra bill that you may pay more than once when your divorcing each other a year later.Or marrying one after another. I was invited to a wedding a couple years ago and they got divorced a year later. I wasnt shocked because of why they were getting a divorce, I was shocked because of all the money they spent for nothing. I just dont see the big deal in marriage, marriage is not a needed thing to express to someone how much you appreciate, love, respect, and trust them. Marriage definitly is not a needed thing to be happy or maintain happiness between two people. They both just have to know what makes them happy. Peace.
Thanks for letting me add on. Most appreciated.

shakim said...

Peace once again....A marriage is a bond that unifies two individuals (man & woman) that honor each other with the highest elevation of understanding without any paper work. Marriage is a natural right, but when a marriage becomes commerce (marriage license) its emphatically now cipher. Why? Because a license is a privilege that is granted by the state, which the marriage becomes property of the state. But you can get a marriage certificate. And what is a marriage certificate? It is an understanding (agreement) of the marriage of the two individuals if anything was to happen like medical, returning to the essence etc; without that third party involvement. Marriage is important because marriage is the bond. When the suns shine its power (light) on the earth so the earth can rotate @ the terrific sped of 1,037 1/3 miles per hr around the sun that is the bond (marriage/relationship) between the sun (original man) and the earth (original woman). 1+0+3+7=11 (11th degree in the 1-14), (Have you heard that your shall be bond regardless of whom or what? yes, my word is bond and bond is life and i shall give my life before my word shall fail). 1/3=4 is the knowledge and understanding between the two to live divinely in this culture of i god. Per hour is 60 minutes.. 6+0 =6 (equality) the scales of justice that keeps that unification balanced. Supreme Mathematics don't lie!!!!

The 14th Degree and Beyond said...

Peace Shakim -

Thank you for your 3. I never knew that there was a Marriage CERTIFICATE. Where can someone obtain that for those who are interested?

The 14th Degree and Beyond said...

Peace Amina -

I appreciate you taking the time to respond. I find it extremely disturbing that because of the views of THIRD PARTY individuals... solid, committed relationships don't hold the same weight (in the 'laws' eyes) as a legal marriage.

You are right when you said:

'marriage is not a needed thing to express to someone how much you appreciate, love, respect, and trust them. Marriage definitly is not a needed thing to be happy or maintain happiness between two people. They both just have to know what makes them happy'

Unfortunately some do not go through knowledge, wisdom and understanding when entering a marriage or sometimes even a cipher between God and Earth... they do the knowledge... and figure that that is enough - that is when things fall apart.

Peace

Q. Civilized Zag

infiniterahe said...

Peace,

This is Infinite Rahe Allah and I am married. I didn't have some big wedding ceremony, church blessing, or anything. Five minutes in the courthouse. Big lunch with my family. Took my Queen to New York the weekend of the event and we went to the Bahamas a few months later. Did I ever hear that the father said we should not get married under the government? Yeah, I did. And I never saw any divorce document either after the father found out that he was Allah dissolving his union.

At the same time, it was always my plan to get married because my parents were married. Marriage works for us. I loved my Queen long before I got married. The little certificate doesn't validate or sustain the love I have with her now. It just made my car insurance cheaper. All it does is make handling legal business easier. Mortgages, finances, credit, etc,.

Peace, I am not advocating marriage because relationships are complicated enough. Why did I get ultimately, because Nicia asked me to. It was never a big deal for me. I put this out because I would be fake if I didn't respond. Peace all my original family and to any decision that you ultimately see as best for you and yours.

Peace,

I. Rahe Allah
Section Editor/NEWS

Loved&Hated said...

Peace. I have been in a relationship for 9 years and married for 6 of those years. I am apalled by all the arguments against marriage. I find it amazing that some people put more thought into marriage than they do into having children. It makes no sense to me that people are afraid of being tied by a piece of paper but have no problem being tied by genetics. The genetic bond is till death do you part and then some. I know I'm going to get persecuted for this one: I don't believe introducing your significant other is the same as introducing your husband or wife. One relationship appears to be a lot more serious than the other, and it probably is. Specifically, in an informal relationship (not on paper), you can get mad at each other and walk away. In a marriage, you think twice before you walk out that door and you may even schedule marriage counseling along the way. What I am hearing is people are afraid to get married because they think it might end in divorce. If you're automatically thinking about divorce when pondering marriage to your mate, then marriage isn't for you at this time. Partner for sale? Hardly. Yes, you pay a fee for a license. In MD, that fee is $20. It's no different than the fee you pay for any other government documentation. I wouldn't say the government is making a killing on this--considering how many people don't get married. These days you're more likely to pay more for a tank of gas or for carryout. Marriage, a problem? Look around. There is plenty of non-marriage in the community and simultaneously plenty of unstable households and poverty. This is definitely not the world many of our ancestors grew up in. Marriage for many of them was a contract enforced by third parties as well. Families were very involved. Heck, the community was involved! They'd snitch if they saw you cheating. Marriage isn't all gloom and doom. Guess whose kids tend to be more successful? Childern of married couples. Guess who lives longer and reports higher levels of happiness? Married people do. Married people pay more taxes? Not always true. I pay less. If one partner makes a lot less than the other, the couple pays less. Married people share debts? Maybe after death but not necessarily in daily life. Just because you're married doesn't mean your credit reports have to be. Scared of contracts? You sign them everyday and there is always a third party involved. There is always an enforcer. Decide not to pay your car note, and an enforcer will step in. Those people who get married are not only promising to treat each other right but agreeing to be held accountable if they break that promise. And it is that agreement to be held accountable by someone other than your significant other that makes marriage a bigger step than informal committments. I definitely felt different after marriage--knowing I was legally committed and my partner would be granted certain rights automatically. My partner agreeing to marry me was a sign to me that he was definitely in this for the long haul, through thick and thin. My goal was to secure a life-long mate and while marriage doesn't guarantee anything, for me it's a stronger sign than, "Baby, you know I love you." I hear stories about people who regret getting married. I know a lot of elderly folks who wish they had.

shakim said...

Peace...
(1). Certificate- a written assurance, or official representation that some act has or has not been done, or some event occurred, or some legal formality has been complied with. a declaration in writing.

(2). License- a personal privilege to do some particular act or series of acts on land without possessing any estate or interest therein, an is ordinarily revocable at the will of the licensor (state) and is not assignable. A permit, granted by an appropriate governmental body, generally for a consideration to a person, firm or corporation to pursue some occupation or to carry on some business subject to regulation under the police powers.

(3). Marriage Certificate- an instrument (agreement) which certifies a marriage, and is executed-by the person ( u and your significant other) by officiating at the marriage; it is intended to be signed by the parties, but is evidence of the marriage.

(4). Marriage license- a license or permission granted by public authority to persons who intend to intermarry, usually addressed to the minister or magistrate who is to perform the ceremony, or in general terms, to any one authorized to solemnize marriages. By statute in most jurisdictions, it os made essential prerequisite to the lawful solemnization of the marriage.

(5). Person- in general usage (i.e. natural person), thru by statute term may include labor organizations, partnerships, associations, corporations, legal representatives, trustees in bankruptcy, or receivers.

(6). Corporation- an artificial "person" or legal entity created by or under the-authority of the laws of the state. An association of persons created by statute as a legal entity,,,,(need i continue).

(7). Straw-man- a front; a third party who is put up in name only to take part in a transaction.
" BLACK'S LAW DICTIONARY 4TH EDITION"...

The Breakdown.....When a people get a marriage license they now become this legal entity (corporation) by statute of their state and that is why if you notice on the marriage license their names or in all capital letters and that is not proper grammar for example John Doe is now spelled JOHN DOE and this is what they call a straw-man in law terms. We gotta wake up an apply applicable knowledge to situations before acting upon them. Your marriage or bond is not a business entity or privilege granted by some state or judge but its a natural right by the two bonded in love, peace and happiness. I can really get deeper into the matter but i'll born that on another note. And this is taken from a law book.......PEACE

shakim said...

we also need to build on birth certificate and ss# and being called black and African American or NBC (negro, black and colored) because this is a touchy yet deep matter that the mothers and fathers need to hear because the games and hell we are in for accepting these titles thru out the years when the solution is right in our faces....Peace

bootzey said...

I was really trying not to post on this topic. I feel very strongly about this and don’t want to come off overly emotional…..

Legal Marriage is important. The ceremony is not. The dress is not. All the other trappings are not. Marriage does not guarantee fidelity. Having a job does not guarantee that all your bills will be paid and having health insurance does not guarantee that all your health issues will be addressed. Nobody argues against having these things. Why is marriage is vilified?

I have been married. And I need to tell you that when my spouse died, being his legal wife made transference of his property easily to me. Had we not been legally married, his family’s claim would have trumped mine no matter how long we lived together. I would have had to prove what my money paid for and what I was entitled to. I would not have been entitled to our home, his cars, bank accounts, nothing. I have seen women who lived long term with men put out when the men tired of them or put out by the man’s family when they died. Unless the women had children with these men, there was nothing to say that they were entitled to anything. And if they did have children with the men, it’s the children that are entitled, not the women. Don’t say get a will to transfer property. You are still putting the government, via a the courts, in your business. Isn’t that the argument against marriage? So why not get married?

Usually the argument against marriage is made by the men. I have a huge problem with that. Men benefit from marriage as much as women do.

Victorious Lanasia said...

Peace and Blessings. It is my opinion that marriage can and does serve a purpose. When I was bearing my young queen, there were circumstances that made getting married to her Father an option that we wanted to pursue. It turned out not to be the right decision for me because at the time, I confused MARRIAGE with COMMITMENT. Many of us as Queens, regardless of the level of education, consciousness, or common sense we all think we have, we often still (and understandably so) confuse the two terms. Commitment, particularly when we are both dealing with the same way of life, is extremely important in bringing together the jewels of love, peace, and happiness. Marriage in itself does not do that. I've been there, done that.. and now know that there are ways to get the protection, medical and legal right I need for self and seed, without the need to standardize our commitment under the government.

The 14th Degree and Beyond said...

Peace -

I think that regardless to how you see it... one things is common amongst all which is that whether you have that piece of paper (or not) the union between two people is just that. My sister told me once...'no one can tell you about your love' - because that is between you and the other individual.

We all have CHOICES. We all have ideas on what is best for US personally because we know it may not be best for everyone. To even find some one ... to spend the rest of your life with... or even years... or even meaningful MOMENTS with is so rare.

Whether you agree with a legal marriage or not... I build that all who are in these unions are building, and peaceful and happy.

Peace

Q. Civilized Zag