Sunday, June 28, 2009

Do I really Gotta...?

Peace

My Brother called me the other day to tell me he was engaged... to a woman... I am not too fond of. But hey... she's not my fiance. It led me to the question of how much am I willing to put aside? And I found the answer to be: not much.

In general... I don't like going to weddings. I was taught... if I don't have anything nice to say... not to say it at all. So... that's generally why I don't speak to many people. Not that I am thinking mean thoughts however, it's not my job to engage you in idle conversation. It's not my style. This is exactly how his fiance is... just... making up sh*t...(woops) to say to fill the silence... ugh...

Anywho - I say all this to say - how much of yourself do you think you need to put aside for others happiness? And is there a way... to seem more involved then you really are without looking like you don't care, because you didn't want to be there anyway?

*sigh*... please help me... or find me an annoyance management group to join.

Peace

ZagTemplative...

5 comments:

Serenity Love Sincere Peace Earth said...

You care for your brother and you will put aside your differences with his intended to see that his day is happy.

I know of what I speak. I REALLY dislike my sister-in-law, but I ain't married to her. Everyone knows how I feel about her, but they also know I will keep family harmony. And most importantly.... She knows her limits with me.

Q. Civilized Zag said...

Peace -

I mean... my bruvuh is alRIGHT... we aren't sharin secrets and callin each other everyday honestly. However, I will put my best foot forward... though - for the record... I have a bum ankle.;-)

Peace

Q.TAMIEKA EARTH said...

PEACE
THE BOND OF SISTER AND BROTHER IS FAR GREATER. SO ENJOY THE DAY FOR HIM, FOR WHAT YOU AND HE HAS CREATED THROUGH YOUR LIVES.

IN ANOTHER BREATH, NEVER DUMMY UP OR BE PHONY. ALWAYS BE YOU, PEOPLE WITH ACCEPT OR REJECT, REGARDLESS TO WHOM OR WHAT. AS LONG AS YOUR BROTHER IS AT PEACE WITH YOU THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS. PEACE QTE

Anonymous said...

Peace

What I see from this is you automatically started thinking of yourself. This occassion isn't about you.
Your sister-in-law to be starts idle convo because she wants to talk to you. She is comming into your family circle and can not read your mind about 'what you don't engage in'. Use understanding, this sista is reaching out to you, if the convo isn't your intrest then politly tell her that that is not of intrest to you and try to find a common ground.
If you don't like her because she trys to have a convo with you then the degrees, math, alpha, ain't do you any good. (no disrespect) You will be going against everything this culture is suppose to be about. It's not like ya'll have beef, so let the pettyness go, you are your own worst enemy.
Your brother has asked for your support, leave your opinions and emotions to yourself. The lady was simplying trying to talk to you.

*I hope you take the current as harsh, but it annoys me when people are self-centered when other's ask for support, especailly a wedding. Yeah, yeah I hear it all the time "striving for perfection", don't let that be a cruch.

Peace

Q.Love

Q. Civilized Zag said...

Peace Anonymous -

At no point was my brother asking for my support. As I stated... we aren't close. He was just informing me of the pending marriage.

Regarding her idle chatter. That is not the only reason I dislike her - however, I chose not to go in any deeper as that is more personal then I care to get. I didn't take your current as harsh as you apparantely don't have a full understanding of the cipher thus you probably don't fully gage where I am coming from.

I also understand who and what I am in this culture very well as I live it to the fullest every day. I have known this woman for years. Because she is going to marry my brother doesn't change the fact that I don't care for her.

My question in the post was basically how to tolerate a woman I am not fond of who is going to be a part of my brothers life going forward. As well, I am not going to be involved in the wedding - however, another question was posed for those who are in eventss they don't want to be in... how do they go about tackeling that.

Peace

Peace Q. Tameika -

I would never dummy up or be phony :). HOWEVER, I have heard that breathing techniques work for various things. I have been taking yoga twice a week so willingly by next year... lol... I can breath my way through ... :).

Peace and thanks for the suggestion.


Peace