At Home and Abroad

Peace All -

Recently I participated in a Clothing drive... and it was interesting for me to see just how in need people really were... just for socks even. There were men... who were getting women's jeans as long as they would fit. It helped me to see how it could take two missed checks and anyone could be there.

I brought the seeds along so that they could see how fortunate to have what we have... though it may not be much... it's ours. At any chance I get I try to make sure that they understand where we came from and where we are trying to go. Whether it be donating to salvation army, food and clothing drives or volunteering at a nursing home.

So I ask... what are you doing to teach your children about building within your community? How do they see it? Are they resistant? Do they come with new ways to help?

Peace

Q. Civilized Zag

Marriage: I do or I don't???

Marriage:

1.the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.
2. the state, condition, or relationship of being married; wedlock: a happy marriage.
3. the legal or religious ceremony that formalizes the decision of a man and woman to live as husband and wife, including the accompanying social festivities: to officiate at a marriage.
4. a relationship in which two people have pledged themselves to each other in the manner of a husband and wife, without legal sanction: trial marriage;
5. any close or intimate association or union: the marriage of words and music in a hit song.
6. a formal agreement between two companies or enterprises to combine operations, resources, etc., for mutual benefit; merger.

Peace -

I went to a wedding this Past weekend. It was beautiful and sweet and really nice to see the two people so happy and in love. And it got me to thinking... do I want this? The dress... the reception... the BILL at the end of it all??? While I am sure that my parents would love that for me... perhaps in my jaded view of things, I never thought it would happen for me and thus refined my thought of what MY marriage would be.

Do we go by the above definition of legalities or of the pledge between two people? I myself have learned never to just take someone's word for it. We must SHOW AND PROVE our commitment. Just because someone signs their honorable name to legal document and gets you a 3 carat ring does NOT mean that they will keep their word nor that it will last. It means that it will be THAT much harder to get rid of that muh-(bleep)...oh... woops. LOL. (Thanks OT Sensors).

Mind you the ceremony part is nice and the gathering of friends and family however - we could do that anytime with OUT the legalities correct? OR is the lack of security for individuals whom are NOT your spouse so great... that we are forced into this notion of what MUST be done in order to protect our families?

There is also the common-law spouse in some states...

common-law marriage
–noun
a marriage without a civil or ecclesiastical ceremony, generally resulting from an agreement to marry followed by the couple's living together as husband and wife.


If you reside with the individual for several years or more then you are considered to be husband and wife.

But what if your desire is not to reside with each other but just be together for yeaars? Are we any less commited? Those nights for XY and Z years that I wiped your nose and used my trusty tussin remedy doesn't count because I didn't come home to you everynight? Because I can only deal with you for 4 nights out of the week - before I want to be somewhere where I don't fall in the toilet in the middle of the night because you forgot to put the seat down... AGAIN... - that makes our years of commitment... less important then the married couple? Emphatically NO!!!

Let me know what you think!!! I thank you and appreciate your responses.

Peace

Q. Civilized Zag

Seed Ciphers

Peace All -

For those of use whom are parents (single or not) I know that times are hard...financially and emotionally. Myself... as a single parent sometimes come to my wits end. For it seems odd to me that my children can remember where that Organic Fruit strip in my pocket book that we got a WEEK ago from Trader Joes is in my Purse - because they put it there of course - but can't remember that I tell them everyday not to touch each other in the car or to put their dishes in the sink... WITHOUT a full plate of food. Now... ALLEGEDLY ( a word that must be thrown in before and after all 'confessions' if you will) there can be a black-out (if you will) for repeated acts of misconduct but, I have taken some time to really look for other ways.

I know there was a time when people were using the phrase 'Time Out'... but I don't really understand that term. Reason being... if they're to sit... in a corner... to THINK about why they got in trouble... then they're probably gonna think of another way to get in trouble simultaneously. Now, I LOVES Harpo...LAWD KNOWS I DO... But I'll... oh... Pardon self...lol. Back to the remedies. In observing my children it came to me that I needed to take some time for them and ME... because all children want to be is loved and nurtured... and to ride on the occasional nerve sometimes without getting into trouble. The below tend to help me out:

* Designated Bed Times: My Children are in bed every night by 8:30... whether they are tired or now. Not only is it less of a fight to wake them up the next morning but it gives me time to make some tea, draw up a build or read a book.

*How Was Your Day: Every day after I pick the children up we all say how each others day was... I tell them everything, who got on my nerves, who I chased down in a fit of road rage... everything. Because then they know that I have nothing to hide. In turn... it lets them know that they can talk to me as well so they don't have to look for other ways to get attention (ie. Jumping off the back of the couch) because they know I'm always there to listen.

*Book Buddies: We each take an hour each weekend to just read the books that we are enjoying at the moment and then tell each other about it (ummm, no... not the romance novels)

* Your Choice: Fridays after school or Saturdays (if I am not working) I give the seeds the option to choose to do whatever they want (within budget ofcourse). This is kind of my reward for a hectic week with ME... lol... and school

*Meditation: I can put myself in a coma just by holding a cup of green tea, closing my eyes, and the Last Samurai soundtrack playing in the back ground. I do this in the office with my door closed or early in the morning.

The above 5 things work for me... what about you? What do you do to help make time for yourself ... when the nanny is on vacation, indefinitely (hmpf lol). What activities do you do with your Children with the limited time you may have? I know there are things that you all may do that we could incorporate into our days and weeks to make everything that much more Peaceful and fulfilling. I welcome and thank you... for all of your feed back.

Peace

Q. Civilized Zag